Exercising
In the early morning, I meditate and write before the relative reality of the rest of the world comes to life. At that time I am not yet part of reality. There is no reason for me to react to or judge situations. My observations are not yet limited to a specific situation. I still feel free and can observe it all. My sight is still clear and without judgement. I still do not feel preference or revulsion. I still love my
enemy.
I do not have to exercise just yet. I am still in my own world, where it is easy to lead everything that enters my head along the positive lines of communication in my mind. Later, when the dawn comes and everyone wakes, that is when the exercise begins. That is when it is no longer natural for my mind to communicate. That is when I notice there are endless associations. Conclusions I made earlier in life as well as those that were passed down to me by parents, forefathers, the community where I grew up, and so on.
In the relatively real world, where I am together with my wife, my children, my students and all the information I receive about the world, I have the opportunity to exercise. I can change heedlessness into consciousness and lead that which comes to mind along the positive associations in my mind, if need be in second or third attempts. Here I have the possibility to loosen myself from my short
sightedness, here I can transcend my self interest. Here I can be merciful, here I can free myself from my ignorance.
By exercising I become aware of how my (natural) kindness has become covered up by my long
history full of pain. Pain I can share because we are all equals. I can cry and laugh with others, that is when the pain is released while happiness remains. I can discover my benignity. And when once again, blinded by emotions, I have let myself be determined by the negative associations in my mind, I can forgive myself and start anew with practising.
The meditations in the early morning provide clarity and support my exercises. They help me to
slowly but surely, connect the absolute reality to the relative reality.
